The other day a friend shared a link that I thought was very insightful, and very true, sadly.

http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/2151

I wouldn’t even begin to pretend to know what that family went through, but as far as other’s opinions go, we’re going through similar right now with the sale of our home taking so long and our family being split apart across the country since my husband has been away most of last year.

People constantly assume things, even though we ALL know assuming isn’t right! Yet we do it all the time anyways. Along with judging. The two go hand in hand.

Just the other week, someone said toย Alesia, my eldest daughter,
“I just don’t feel your family is supposed to move.”

Alesia was like, “O… k… so what’s that mean? We should leave our father living alone halfway across the country? Or should he come back here again, to no work? Maybe collect unemployment benefits, or go on welfare perhaps?”
She didn’t say those things, she’s got more grace then that. But that’s what we’d like to reply sometimes to these well meaning comments.
In case this guy didn’t realize it, we’re not doing this just for fun! My husband is there for a reason, a job. It’s something a family kind of needs in order to survive, pay bills, and eat! Shockingly enough! (yes, I can be sarcastic and yes, read that with complete sarcasm!)
People constantly assume things.
That guy, the neighbour, in the above link/story that was shared, when he called the family that was suffering, he assumed they were out to ruin the property values without a care in the world about their neighbours. Meanwhile, why didn’t the neighbours even realize something must be amiss? If this family always had their property looking wonderful, and then suddenly not, wouldn’t you have to ask yourself why that’s changed? Or simply ASK them kindly first, before flying off the handle and causing even more grief?

HouseFront2

Isn’t it funny that we, as a society, often have no problems with flying off the handle at someone, telling it like it is we call it, yet we have problems with simply asking questions? That really is very backwards. When we fly off the handle, we look like fools when proven wrong. Yet we willingly risk looking like fools, simply because we feel we have a ‘right’ to let off steam and ‘fight’ for what we ASSUME to be the truth.

This guy who talked to Aleseia, why didn’t he ask, “Is there any kind of support your family could use while your father is away?” instead of just sharing his opinion on what he feels we should be doing?

I will never understand why anyone feels they have a right to voice their opinion about what our family should do, or what God is speaking to our family, when they are not even TRYING to show our family loving support, or any help in any way? If you can’t hear God telling you to care for your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t expect me to believe you hear God telling you what our family should, or should not do, in such important matters. Sorry, it just does not work that way! In that case, just keep your opinions to yourself, and if you feel so strongly about them, ask God to show us Himself.

We’ve had other people say the same thing to us. “I don’t think you’re supposed to move, this is taking too long, etc. etc.etc..” yet those same people fail to ask if we have any needs;
Could I use a hand since I’m living without a husband here?
Is there anything they can do to help us? Help with the homestead, the house, the cars?

Could they just be an ear so I can vent, or a shoulder to cry on?
Can they do something fun with my kids since my kids don’t have their father around to do it with them???

I fight with myself constantly not to feel bitter with these same people who assume to know our future, share their opinions, which are of little to no value to me. I do really well too, until people share their opinions, strongly. Why not share your support strongly instead? Why is it so easy for people to be negative? AND feel good about it?

Today, I encourage you to do something positive! Go out of your way to bless someone! And negative opinions? Keep those to yourself! Let’s see how strong we all REALLY are! THAT is true strength. The strength to keep your mouth shut when you’ve got that horribly strong urge to open it when you KNOW you really should in a way that will encourage!

And to those who DO support our family, I don’t think you’ll ever know how much we appreciate your support and how much it means to each one of us! It’s been a very long haul, and without you, we never would have made it this far! I hope we can continue to make it to the end of this journey!