The posts I made Sunday and Monday have been on my heart.
I hesitate to post about this whole ‘move’ yet again, but it’s what’s on my heart and I have a hard time being all ‘fluff & stuff” when that’s not what’s in my heart at the time. Sure, sometimes I am feeling lighthearted, a lot of the time actually, but not today.
On the topic of being sure, yes, we are sure, we’re sure that this is the path we’ve chosen, sure this is the path God has called us on. As sure as we’re sure we will be here tomorrow, and the next day, here on this earth, alive and well.
In life, no one is really sure about anything.
So in reality, we make our plans.
Our plans are to move to a large farm one day, some day… who knows when? These have been our plans for quite some time now, and we wait, living life daily as we go about our business each day.
And we hope, and we pray, but we still come to the same conclusion at the end of every day…
We are absolutely, positively, sure about nothing.
And that’s kind of ok… Most of the time.
But some times, it does cause weariness. Not knowing, never knowing, being humbled over and over, and knowing ultimately, we could be totally humbled and never move at all.
We really do understand that it’s quite obviously a real possibility. I mean really, it’s been five years, off and on.
But, we live each day in regards to our dreams the same way as we live each day in regards to life.
With hope that today will be blessed and tomorrow will be even better and that through it all we will continue to learn, to grow, to become better persons. And this, as far as I’m concerned, this is really what life is all about.
There are SO many people in history that I could share about who were considered fools for trying whatever it is that they were trying to do. I don’t even need to share examples, because we all know the stories.
If we DO NOT move, if we DO NOT see our dreams come to fruition, we’ll deal with it.
What people don’t see, is the process our family has been going through, personally, internally, through this entire walk.
It’s been shaping who we are, it’s caused growth in ways no form of education could ever teach us. It’s created maturity, within ourselves, and within one another. It’s formed strong bonds between my husband and I, between us and our children, and between these five children themselves.
And this brings me back to that question of, “Are you sure?”
Because no, I’m not 100% sure we will ever move, but I AM 100% sure that we ARE on the right course in our lives. This course we are on, to follow our dreams, has been a course of education like none other I’ve ever witnessed. My children are growing in ways I never grew as a child. My husband and I have grown in ways in our marriage that I never even dreamed possible.
Has it been easy?
Nope.
But life isn’t. Life, is NOT easy.
Life is however, worth it. All of it.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
As a homeschooling mother, I’ve often, OFTEN, wondered if my children living the life they are living, growing up as they are growing up, would shelter them too much. Who I am today, has been shaped by the difficulties I’ve faced in my life. Those difficulties, even at a young age, helped to shape me into the strong woman I am today. Over the past 20 years of raising these children I’ve often wondered,
“Will THEY be as strong? Will THEY be able to make it?”
This path we’ve been on, has proven to me that yes, they are strong. ALL OF THEM.
It’s also proven to me how great each one of them is. From the eldest, to the youngest. Not everyone in our lives agrees with our lifestyle (from the start, I don’t mean in regards just to moving), but that’s really not important to me.
What IS important to me is these children of mine, I see how great they are, how great OTHERS who know them see that they are, and that, for me, is all the proof I need to keep going. EVERY day. To continue along.
And for that, I feel blessed. VERY blessed. Even if we never achieve our ultimate dream, we’ve already achieved so much more.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and burdened right now, stop, and think about what’s really important. Not the material things in life, not what ‘society’ deems as important, but what’s TRULY important.
Concentrate on that, focus your life on THAT, and you’ll be ok. I can’t promise it will be easy, but it WILL be worth it!