Most days, I absolutely LOVE being a work at home mom…

but today, is not one of them. Honestly, 99.9% of the time I truly love what I do. Just the other day though, I made the comment, “The best part of being a wahm is that you can take a break whenever you want, the worst part is that you never TRULY get a break”.

Today, is one of those few days. My grandmother (my Oma) passed away this morning. When I heard the news, all I wanted to do was go take a drive by myself down to the ocean or some other such quiet place and be alone, with my thoughts. Instead, I had to work. I suppose that’s the way it is for most people though, not just wahm’s. Our biz (homesteademporium) is such an important part of our income though, it has been our main income for quite some time now, so taking time off is not an option unless very well planned in advance. Not even a few hours on a day like today, when I have to get the products photographed and listed in the shop for tomorrow. Tonight we have to work on some tax paperwork that needs to be post dated by tomorrow (I know I know, procrastination at it’s best), so today was just not a day when I could take some time off. Even now, I’m typing while I’m waiting for my photos to upload. I just had to write this out though. If I can’t take a break, I can at least write out my thoughts.

My grandmother, well all my grandparents, were in Holland. That is where I was born. We came to Canada when I was just 2 years old. About every 4 years while growing up, I would go back to Holland to visit. I usually stayed with my grandparents on my father’s side (it’s my mom’s mom who died today) but I would also get to go and visit my mom’s family. Either they would come pick me up, or my father would take me there.

I don’t have a ton of memories of being at my grandmothers, but I do have some. For that I am very grateful. I remember one time, I was either 7, or 12, and I had to share a single bed with my aunt who is the same age as my own older sisters. My mom is the eldest of 10 children. This aunt is the youngest sibling. I remember my mom telling me that after she had my eldest sister, her mom had to ask her to give back all her baby things because she was going to need them again. 🙂 How cool would that be? Mother and daughter both having babies. 🙂

I’m randomly rambling here.

Anyways, I remember how much fun it was to share a bed while visiting, with my AUNT! Not a cousin, but an aunt, and to think she was only 5 or 6 years older then me. I thought that was so cool.

I remember sitting at my grandmother’s dinning room table. She spent a LOT of time at that table. A lot of photos of her are at that table. I don’t have enough photos of my grandmother. Speaking of photos, I’m trying to recall if I have any of my grandmother and I together. Sadly, I don’t think I do.

This reminds me that as much as I hate having my photo taken, I really should hand the camera over to someone else once in a while so my children, and my grandchildren, will have more memories of me. Maybe I don’t want them, but they might.

Having all your grandparents far away all your life isn’t a whole lot of fun. I suppose it was neat that I got to travel to Holland so often in my growing up years, but I would have traded that in a minute for having them close by. When I married my husband almost 20 years ago, 3 of his grandparents were still alive and very much a part of his life. He grew up right across the street from his father’s parents and just a 20 minute drive from his mother’s parents. When we married, his grandparents all accepted me into their family with VERY open arms. I feel very blessed to have known each one of them very well and to have been able to spend a fair amount of time with each one while they were still alive.

Grandparents are very special. They are our history. I wish I would of had the opportunity to have introduced my children to my history before each of my grandparents passed away. Sadly, now that opportunity is lost. I mourn not only for my grandmother today, but for the loss of opportunity to see her again, with my children.

And with that, the photos have finished uploading. My husband will be home soon and we’ll need to work on those taxes, so I had better get back to work on those listings.