Category Archives: The Heart of This Woman

  • Autism, ADHD and Etsy

    Autism, ADHD and Etsy

    What do autism and adhd have to do with Etsy?
    In my previous post I shared for the first time that I have autism and adhd. One big reason why I finally decided to share is because I really need to begin advocating for myself, and others like me, online. My business is online and I deal with customers from all around the world on a daily basis.

    I started my business over 17 years ago, and began selling on etsy in 2010.
    I’ve always liked what etsy stands for:

    Explore one-of-a-kind finds for one-of-a-kind people
    There’s no Etsy warehouse—just millions of people selling the things they love”

    Etsy’s newest thing is to encourage sellers to become what they call, Star Sellers. Sounds great right?
    Well I’m here to say that I don’t think so.

    I would directly tell Etsy this, I’d explain all my reasons why I don’t agree with this new program, but no matter how hard I look I just can’t find any kind of contact info for my complaint. Maybe I’m just not seeing it, but when I go to the contact button I get directed in a hundred different ways and none of those ways fit my complaint and I can’t even find a direct contact button. So I’m going to air my complaints here and then hope that some how, some one at etsy will read my complaint and consider it. Because I know I can not be alone in my thoughts regarding this.

    With Etsy’s new Star Seller plan, they’ve forgotten one important thing. Not only is etsy about one-of-a-kind finds for one-of-a-kind people, but one-of-a-kind people are the ones CREATING those finds.

    Each etsy seller is one-of-a-kind, and etsy is trying it’s darndest to fit us all into one very small box!

    If you’re an etsy seller and you have autism, or adhd, or you have both like me, or perhaps you have another learning disability, or a physical disability, or maybe you have lots of kids, or you have a full time job along with your etsy side hustle, maybe you suffer from anxiety, or perhaps you are battling a sickness, or you live rural and have to drive to the nearest town to ship package (also me!), or any other number of things that causes you to not be able to be to meet the push created by this new program.

    If you’re one of those people you’ll likely never become a Star Seller on etsy. Or even if you do, maybe you agree that it’s not a good idea for etsy to be pushing things in this direction. The direction of speed=best rather than quality is number one.

    Here’s the link to the information about becoming a Star Seller:

    Even though I have been successfully selling on etsy for over 12 years, have shipped out over 12,000 orders and received more than 2,600 five star reviews I will likely never make the cut to be considered an etsy Star Seller and I don’t even care to because this push goes against every reason I am a handmade seller.

    However, if I am not a Star Seller, even though I’m paying the same as anyone who is, I miss out on rewards from etsy. This isn’t right.


    As a creator, and for the reasons I stated above for all of us who do not fit the regular mold, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to create a feeling like we’re being pushed to behave like machines. It leaves behind those who simply can NOT work like machines.

    Besides, that isn’t what handmade, creativity, artistry, and unique one-of-a-kind is all about.

    Is it?

    I’m very confused as to why etsy felt this was a good idea. I realize they probably didn’t considered that a system like this would be overwhelming and even punishing to some of their sellers, but I’m here to say that it is. And I’m sure I am not alone.

    So this is me letting etsy know better, so that etsy can do better.

    No matter our abilities or disabilities, each one of us are hard working individuals trying to make it in OUR business the best we are able. We deserve to be judged for the quality of our creations, for our QUALITY of customer service, and NOT for our SPEED. Why is etsy expecting it’s artists and creators to work this way?

    We are not factories or manufacturing plants.

    Leave us to be individuals who will have differing customer response times, different shipping speeds and different UNIQUE ways of customer service between each one of us and our customers!

    Be a SAFE space for sellers and trust the customers to decide for themselves with their reviews who deserves to be a STAR seller! I bet there are plenty of very unique individuals with very unique amazing creations who will never be the fastest to reply to a message or the quickest to ship an order (or to think it’s ok to add shipping costs into the price costs just to give the ‘appearance’ of free shipping… but that’s a whole other complaint for another time…) that plenty of customers might miss out ever meeting simply because they’ll never be a Star Seller according to this program.

    If you agree with my thoughts on this, please share this post and tag etsy.
    Maybe together we can bring about change and help etsy to hear our voice and get back to what’s important, one-of-a-kind finds for one-of-a-kind people CREATED BY one-of-a-kind people!

  • Adult Autism & ADHD

    Adult Autism & ADHD

    I was going to title this post as per usual, Homestead Diary February 28 2022, but today’s post is more than a daily diary post. Today’s post is not about the homestead.

    I’ve shared many times about our middle child, Elsa, who has Aspergers/Autism.
    The road that led us to finding out that Elsa has autism was a long windy road over the course of years full of side trips and rabbit trails and many bumps along the way. I won’t go any further into that, because this post isn’t about Elsa, it’s about another member of our family who has autism.

    This post is about me.

    I figured out years ago, some years after Elsa’s diagnosis, that I too likely had autism.
    Unfortunately, like adhd, autism is typically diagnosed in young boys. Girls, who grow up to become women, often don’t get diagnosed until much later in life. If they get diagnosed at all.

    This is my story.

    Growing up, no one ever suspected autism. No one even really heard of autism. I was born in 1971, a long time ago, over 51 years! Times have changed, thankfully. We know much more now, but we still don’t know enough, and that is why I have chosen to finally share my story. Elsa has always been happy to allow me to share her story, and I’ve been grateful for that, but I’ve also felt guilty each time I shared her story without sharing mine. I always made excuses as to why I shouldn’t share about me. I have a business to run, what would people think? Would they automatically have misunderstandings about me because they would just see AUTISM and no longer the business woman? Would I lose customers? Would I lose income? Would they look at me differently? Would customers shy away from purchasing from me? Would people believe me? What would friends and family think? Would I lose friends, would family disown me?

    I asked Elsa several years ago if she thought I should be as open about having autism as she is. Her response, “No, why bother, look how people treat me.”

    I knew when she said this to me, that it was actually MORE of a reason that I needed to share my secret, BUT I also knew she was right. She has put up with a lot. A lot of misunderstandings. A lot of negativity. A lot of comments… oh the comments she’s received, and that I’ve received behind her back and even right in front of her, about her being autistic, through the ignorance of people in their spoken words.

    It’s been hurtful. It’s been difficult to hear and watch and to have to constantly try to explain to others.
    Try to explain to someone that they aren’t actually understanding, when they truly believe they understand all about autism perfectly well…
    There’s been many times I’ve felt like whacking my head on a brick wall.

    When people are so sure they know it all, there’s no telling them they don’t seem to really know anything, actually. They make their assumptions about autism, and the person who has autism, and to be quite blunt and honest, at that point they typically just walk away. If not physically, you can just about see them walking away mentally. They are no long there in the conversation to converse or to learn… because they already know it all. They’ve made up their mind about what autism is and what it looks like and to them it does NOT look like Elsa, and it most certainly does NOT look like me.

    A 51 year old successful business women who has been married for over 30 years, raised five children and even homeschooled them all right through to graduation.

    Nope, that’s not what autism looks like. So how could I be autistic?

    But I am. I also have ADHD.

    It was at the appointment where I was diagnosed with adhd that I told the dr that I had not been open about being autistic except with my husband and children. I told him I wasn’t sure how others would react and that I didn’t know if I was able to deal with it. He told me that I was probably right not to tell others because most people don’t understand autism.

    Hearing him say that actually made me realize exactly why I DO need to tell others that I have autism.
    I couldn’t stop thinking about how if I don’t share, this cycle of misunderstanding is never going to end. Not that misunderstanding autism will suddenly end with me sharing, but… maybe it could end some misunderstandings in one or two people who know me?

    Maybe those one or two people will then help end the misunderstanding of autism for one or two more people? Maybe another adult with autism who’s been nervous to share will read my post and in turn decide they want to share too. Maybe then one or two people they know will better understand… and so on.

    If I desire for autism to be better understood, doesn’t it need to start right here, with me?

    And that is truly my desire.
    To help put an end to misunderstandings and misconceptions of what autism ‘looks’ like.

    Because Autism looks like me, it looks like Elsa, it most likely looks like someone else you know too. Maybe even a friend, a family member, a co-worker or a casual acquaintance.

    If you’d like to know more about adults and autism or you have autism and you want to know better how to share about it, here’s an article about sharing an adult diagnosis:

    I will likely share more soon, but for now, this post was a very big step that I have been putting off for a very very long time. It feels good to have finally written it. I have no idea how people will react, if people will change their minds about me, or my business, or about who I am as a person. I am finally at a place in my life where I’m ok with the not knowing. I guess I’m finally at a place where I am completely ok with me.

    So many times in my life I have not shared my stories, I would always think, “This isn’t just MY story to share, there are other people involved here.”

    I read a quote that said something like,
    “If we never share our story, all we will ever be is a part of someone else’s.”

    I have my own story to tell. I don’t want to just be a part of someone else’s story.

    And with that, I’m adding one of my favourite winter photos from the homestead, hitting the “publish” button and letting go of worrying about what will be once people know this part of my story.

  • Healthy steps

    Just as I had been talking for years of getting into healthier eating and lifestyle habits, my husband had been talking for years of getting back into running. When one of our twins began running recently, it spurred him on to start too!

  • Still on the topic of health… speaking of statins.

    The article linked below speaks about just a few of the very many reasons that I didn’t run straight to the pharmacy with a prescription in March when I was told I should begin taking meds to lower my cholesterol.

  • Brutal honesty time – health and wellness

    I’ve been sharing about my health and wellness adventure on my facebook pages. For far too long I’ve been ‘hoping’ my health will get better, mainly because I actually felt really good for the most part! I haven’t been sick in a very long time, not since doTerra became a part of my life. The last time I was sick was well over a year ago now, no lie! I haven’t had a cold, flu or any other bacterial or viral sickness since. I’m able to do everything I want and need to do every day, from getting up at the crack of dawn to get my homestead and home business work done, to pulling hundreds of hay bales off a field and putting them up in the barn loft with the rest of the family every August. I keep up with the best of them! I even do better than some!

  • How’s those goals coming along?

    I read yesterday that by February 4th most people have given up on their New Year’s Resolutions.
    I thought that was kind of sad, so I figured it was time to check in!

  • New year rambles, goals, pigs, writing, walking and more

    It’s January 2nd, 2016, er, .. I mean, 2017 and we’ve done so much already. I’m tired just thinking about it.
    But in a good way. In a “I’ve got my list, and I’m getting things done” kind of a way.

    Speaking of lists, in the back of my prayer journal this morning I made up a list of goals I’d like to accomplish each month. I’m not real big on ‘resolutions’, but I’m very big on goals. Not just on New Year’s day though, all the time. I actually LOVE Monday’s even, for this very reason. Monday’s are a chance to start a whole new week with a whole new set of goals!

  • A Night On The Homestead

    I’m all out of things to write today, so I thought I’d share something I wrote a while back that was published in Bear Essential Life magazine.
    I love the cartoonist depiction of my story!

  • The United States of America has a new President. What to do now?

    Many have spent the past 18 months voicing their opinions very loudly on why Trump should not be voted in. Perhaps some of that time would have been better spent listening to why your fellow country men and women did not agree with you. Perhaps further discussion could have occurred if over half of your population had not been quieted, but instead been encouraged to share, and been heard.

  • Death of a pet

    Instead, I asked myself what would I want if I were Teagan? I know, again, some are moaning that he’s ‘just’ a dog…. But he’s MY dog. He’s MY responsibility right to the end. So I asked myself, what do I want in these days that could be Teagan’s last?