Home. That’s what you see in the photo above. OUR new home.
No, it’s not fancy, it’s not huge, but I don’t need fancy and huge. I simply need home.

I can’t tell you how many times my mind, my heart, my whole being has cried out, “I just want to go home…” over the past several years.

But we never knew where home was. All we knew, was that it was no longer here.

We’ve been stuck in an ‘in between’ place for so very long. Our lives have been spent waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and wondering, why? Why did it seem things were not moving along? Why were we having to live apart? Why wouldn’t our hobby farm just sell?

So many questions.

Yet, through it all, we knew that there had to be a master plan of some kind. How we wished we could see what that master plan was, or even a glimpse of it, but instead we simply had to continue waiting.

And now?
Now we finally have a home to move to and the way it all came about has simply amazed us!

Just FOUR short days ago we were feeling almost hopeless. We were getting down to ‘the wire’. Things were happening within our family that we could see were huge blessings, yet some of it didn’t make any sense at all.

Joshua (our 18 year old son) would be moving to Saskatchewan soon to join my husband. He flew out last week to interview for a possible job. While he was out there he decided he was moving to Saskatchewan and finding a job out there no matter what happened with his interview. He had found home.

Alesia, our eldest daughter, is leaving for Ontario on April 8th. She’ll be moving there to be a nanny for our cousin’s family. We’ve known this for quite some time but I couldn’t share publicly as she hadn’t given her notice at work yet. Our cousins are expecting twin girls this month. They have four young boys and homeschool, so Alesia will be living there, helping out where ever needed. She’s very excited about all this, and we are excited for her too. We lived in Ontario from the time she was 1 year old, until she was almost 8. She’s excited to spend time with all my husband’s family including her grandparents and many cousins.

However, it was all seeming bittersweet. Knowing that both eldest kids would be leaving soon, with my husband already gone, I couldn’t help but wonder… “What about us?”

What about the youngest three girls and myself? How would we manage the hobby farm with all five horses, and the other animals, and the wood splitting, and putting the garbage and recycling out, mowing all the lawns, all the maintenance for a house, a cabin, a shop and five acres? How would we keep on top of scooping all the horse manure, and picking up the feed, ordering the hay? Most of all, how would we do all that AND homeschool AND carry on with a very busy business including the parts of the business that the eldest two had been helping me with all these years?!

How would we do all that, AND keep on top of everything else that every day life entails?

I knew that if we HAD to do it, we technically “could”, but I have to admit, I really did not want to.

I didn’t want to do all that, and still go to bed alone every night without my husband.
I didn’t want to ‘mourn’ the loss of my eldest children being a part of my every day life, without my husband by my side.

I just didn’t want to.

And, as time came closer to them both leaving, I began to wonder if I really could. Joshua said at one point that maybe he should wait to move, but I didn’t want that either. It didn’t feel right. I was tired of watching the kids put their lives on hold and didn’t want to hold him back from HIS future. I felt if this was how it had to be, then we’d do it.

Some how. 

This is getting long, and it’s getting late, so I’ll finish the rest tomorrow.