I was pondering something this morning.
If a caterpillar changes into a butterfly, yet no one notices, is the beauty of this change truly magnificent?
If a loved one works hard to become the best they can be, and no one notices, does the change make a difference?
Do people really change, or do our eyes simply open to their true colors? Colors that were always there, yet simply hidden before?
Deep thoughts for so early in the morning, after less then 6 hours of sleep.
But these types of thoughts run through my head often. Call me weird, odd, abnormal, or normal. It doesn’t matter either way. I am who I am. Now, yesterday, and still tomorrow.
However…
Not everyone has always seen me, for me.
I have not always seen others, as they truly are, for I was too busy seeing what I wanted to see, or what I assumed to see.
Do you do this too?
About 6 years ago a woman friend said to me, “You are SO lucky to have such a wonderful husband so you can have such a great marriage!”
Have you done this? Have you thought this about another couple, wishing you had what they had? Thinking if only you had a spouse like that, your marriage would be so much better? If only ‘this’, or if only ‘that’, if only… if only…
Are you missing out on another’s true colors because you’re busy looking at “assumed” colors? Peering through rosy colored glasses as you look into other’s lives, yet not at your own?
Don’t do it.
That woman friend is no longer married.
My husband and I have been married 20 years. They have not been easy years. I won’t go into details, because the details don’t matter. You don’t need to know them.
All you need to know is that we hung in there. Through everything.
And it’s worth while. Life always is.
I told my eldest daughter this morning that if all couples hung in there just 20 years, they may find out that it was all very worth while.
But during those 20 years, you need to do just one thing.
Search for one another’s true colors.
If you do that…
You might just find them.
If you don’t search for them,
The true colors may be there anyways…
but you missed them…
I think people can change. But you’re right…sometimes it is only perception. And it does take work and many couples do have to battle through hard times. 20 years is quite an accomplishment, though.
I wholeheartedly agree, people most certainly can change. But some times others perception of them is so ‘intact’ that they refuse to see that change. 🙂
I think often family can do that with one another, childhood friends. They have such a strong assumption of already ‘knowing’ the other person, that they refuse to see that person isn’t really the same anymore. The grew up, matured, lived a full life and have carried on, while the other person may still be stuck in their past history. I hope that makes sense?