As I shared on facebook this morning, we had a death on the homestead overnight. Serafina, Elsa’s cat, had passed away through the night. My husband had checked on her at 2:30 (she was sick, the vet could not help her, they offered to euthanize but honestly, Elsa could not handle having her cat put down at the vets office) and when I went to check on her very early this am, she was gone, she had died.

We feel it was much better that Serafina was able to die at home, even though it was very difficult trying to care for her the best we could, and keep her as comfortable as possible, while we knew most likely the inevitable was going to happen. But it was good for Elsa too. She was able to help care for her cat. She wanted this, rather then simply leaving her at the vet’s office for them to deal with her. We felt this was very important for Elsa, to be a part of her care. And of course we hoped above all else, that maybe, just maybe, Sarafina could pull through.

Having Serafina here at home though, I was scared I’d be the one to find her after she passed away, and sure enough, I did. While everyone slept, but then I ended up being grateful as I was able to make sure Elsa did not find her, and I was able to have Sarafina safely put away before Elsa even woke up. This is one of those things that as a parent, as a homesteader, and a multiple pet owner, that just makes you wonder why you’d ever want another pet again. Yet, it is a real part of life, especially the life we’ve chosen. We’ve been through many deaths with animals like chickens, guinea pigs, and even rabbits, but this was only the second time we’d ever lost a long time pet and the last time we went through this was 13 years ago. It doesn’t get easier.

I want to thank those of you who have asked how Elsa is doing, and especially those special friends who even took the time to email and offer your sympathy to her. Elsa has aspergers, so this has been really hard on her in more ways then one. Her way is to pretend stuff like this just didn’t happen (which is why I said on facebook that I know it’d be easier if “I” just acted like “It’s only a cat” because then she’d be more ‘comfortable’ with the situation) but I just really feel like this time, she really needed to feel these emotions, even though it is really difficult for her  With Elsa, it’s always SO difficult to know how she was respond, react, to new situations, especially stressful ones. Elsa doesn’t often feel deep emotions, that she shares, and surely doesn’t ever show her emotions if at all possible except when she can’t really control what she’s feeling, and that’s what I feared. Although this has been very difficult, she’s done really well, and she is learning about death. Something we all learn sooner or later, and having others come along side and share their sympathy is a wonderful thing. I will be showing her the emails once she’s ready. Right now, she doesn’t want to be reminded in any way so I’m going to give her a little space at the moment.

I went into her room this morning while she was just waking, and gave her a big hug. She knew right away by my tears (which I don’t often show either) that Serafina had died. She’s doing ok, she doesn’t want to talk about it, and if she’s reminded in some way, she goes to her room for a cry. Otherwise she’s being pampered by her family today, she’s not pestering anyone, and no one is pestering her (you’d have to know her to ‘get’ that part). It’s a good lesson for her siblings too, in being sympathetic to their sister and learning how to come alongside.
Elsa & Serafina

Elsa & Serafina back in 2006.

Life is lessons, one after another, some good, some bad. We take each one as it comes, the best way we know how.