I spent part of my morning fighting a battle.
A battle that I’m unfortunately, not new to. Neither are you.
A battle for the minds and hearts of our children, a battle we often have to fight for ourselves too.
This morning it was for the mind and heart of my youngest daughter Julia.
Her twin came to me last night to let me know that she knows it wasn’t right… but she read some of her sister’s journal. And in that journal, her sister had been writing about how ugly she is and how fat she is.
I pulled Julia aside and asked her to bring me her journal.
She was not happy with her mom. I didn’t care. It’s not my job as mom to make my children ‘happy’, it’s my job to fight worthy battles on their behalf. To fight what brings harm to them! To protect them!
When she brought me her journal, I told her I wasn’t going to read it but, I wanted HER to read through it there in my presence, not with her own eyes, but through God’s eyes, and to tell me if she could find any lies within the pages of what she has written.
As she flipped through her journal, she began to cry softly. Of course there were lies, and now, she could see them for what they really are.
That’s the thing about being confronted with truth. It’s emotional, but it also brings about freedom.
Lies are emotional too, but lies bring about shame. Lies steal joy. Lies bring about no good in our lives. Lies only bring pain.
Julia and I had a long talk about truth, the truth about her. Not just through God’s eyes, but through my eyes, and just as importantly, through her own eyes. I showed her photos of herself as a toddler, and asked if that precious little one was a different person today? She knew the answer. She’s still the same precious Julia today, that she was back then, and that she will be many years from now.
A precious child of God. A precious child of mine.
I know this won’t be the last time I have to remind one of my children about their value. That really saddens me. There’s no battle that’s as passionate within me than the battle for my children’s minds and hearts. I just hope it will be a battle that is won!
*This post was written and posted with permission from Julia.
This really hit home with me…have been through it here also. Hugs to you & Julia. And, Julia, you are so, so beautiful…on the inside & the outside,too! love, Holly
Thanks for a beautiful post, my daughters are only 2 and 9 months but I know one day they will fight this battle just as I did as a teen. Your honest and loving approach is heartwarming and makes me a little less afraid to fight this battle with my own children one day, thank you, both!
I think kids are guilty of believing things–and feeling pressure to live up to society’s depiction of perfection—but, adults do it, too.
I am reading this through tears. Beautiful. The fight for our children’s hearts/minds is constant, thank you for showing me a little of the future.
Adults definitely do too. Even I fight constantly with myself about my body/image! It can be draining.
Thank you.
And you are very welcome. 🙂
If you are always open and honest from the start with your girls, do not be afraid. You’ll do great as a mom to your girls! 🙂
Thank you Holly. It’s been a blessing watching your kids grow up! They are also all so beautiful inside & out!
Ok, I’ve been trying to write a note that would tell what I think about this story and still make sense, but I can’t, so I’m just gonna ramble. I think the maturity of the twin speaks for itself. I think you handled it very well, especially the part where you didn’t read the journal, very important. But what I really wanted to say was about Julia. I don’t know her, but I’m sure her soul is beautiful and that is what matters in the end. And even though it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about her and it won’t change how she feels about herself either, but; she is sooo stunningly, amazingly beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous!!