Category Archives: The Homestead

You know, that honeymoon period of “new” things in life?

Seems it’s passed and things are getting rather ‘rough around the edges’.

The first three weeks with dh away were pretty good. We settled into a bit of a new routine, covering areas dh would normally cover, within home and the business. Things were a bit chaotic, but we managed to pull through, albeit with some sleep deprivation on my part. Driving the two eldest to work, back and forth, proved to be more time consuming then I really realized but whatever right? we made do and we’re getting into it. Today, my son even decided to ride his bike to work, just for the exercise, even though it meant leaving over an hour earlier then he normally would. I applaud him for that. I had told him I really didn’t want him to work Saturdays because that was my ONE day to sleep in, so rather then listen to me, he took the initiative to ride his bike. Yay him! Some times I really do appreciate my children NOT listening to their mother.

We did discuss this though, it wasn’t just ‘pure’ rebellion on his part. lol

I got a text from dh yesterday. He’s not doing too well. That makes things really tough. For him, and for us here at home who are wishing we could some how help. Our family is really good at helping one another when things get really tough. This is the first time we can’t help one of ‘us’. I’m finding this inability to do anything to ‘fix’ the situation rather stressing. I don’t know what to do about it all, other then to pray.

And that’s all my husband has asked us to do.

So we are, and we will continue to do so. All day long, every minute of the day, if that’s what it’s going to take to help him stay strong.

He just switched jobs this week. He’s not driving truck right now. He’s working a job where he’s constantly soaking wet, sweating, and on his feet. He sat for only 10 mins out of over 12 hours yesterday. He’s sore, tired, and he’s feeling very lonely.

I can’t imagine the difference between being home every day, surrounded by my spouse and five children on our homestead, to being out in the middle of no where, knowing no one, and being the ‘greenhorn’ and treated like dirt because of it.

My husband is accustomed to being the boss.

Not the low man on the floor.

Very tough times. Not fun.

I told him to hang in there. Not to let them get him down. I hope he can feel the strength we’re praying for him to have.

We miss him.

21 years ago yesterday, I met my husband.

On that very day, my world changed. I was no longer me, I became half of us.

I still remember the day we met, as clear as yesterday. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday.

(I really need to scan in some other photos of us from way back when…)

I wanted to blog about it yesterday, but I couldn’t. Being the first time he’s been away, for so long, it was too bittersweet for me to blog about.

Today, I’m feeling a little better about it, so I thought I should write before too much time passes.

My husband and I had what most would call, a whirl wind romance. We met Feb. 2nd 1990. On Feb. 22nd I turned 19. On March 10th, he asked me to marry him. On Sept. 22nd, when I was 19 and a half years of age, we were married.

(we were so young!)

I knew the first night I met him that we’d be married. It was like someone whispered it into my ear.

Graydon was not my knight in shinning armor. That’s fairy tale stuff. A knight couldn’t “rescue” me. All my excess baggage would have knocked him right off his white steed…

But, Graydon IS my best friend, and always has been, right from that first day we met. He knows everything about me, and loves me just the same. ?

It’s a constant “joke” around our place when it’s time to dye.

Dye fabric that is.

You’ll hear my kids say, “Mommy’s dyeing.”

It’s not the same in type of course, because you can visually see the difference between dyeing and dying. But when a child says the words, “mommy is dyeing” it sounds the same.

Anywho…

I dyed tonight. On facebook I was asked to share pics, so I’ll share them here.

Here’s everything all ready to go, my dyes etc., gloves, tubs, counters covered, window’s opened.

And here are some of the pretties, in their not so pretty state.

And a close up at the back.

And now they are sitting there, awaiting the cleaning in a little while.

If I get a chance, I’ll snap some photos of the finished fabrics tomorrow.

I decided to tote my camera(s) around with me today and snap a few photos here and there. I didn’t have it with me ALL the time, but a lot of the time, so I thought I’d share some of those snapshots of my day here with you.

This morning I got up before my alarm went off (for this night owl, that’s pretty darn amazing in itself!) and no, I do not have a photo of myself in the morning. I’m not THAT brave.

Drove our 17 year old son to work. On Thursday’s and Friday’s he works with a local mechanic. Both our eldest kids have their learners licence, and will have their ‘real’ license in April. I can’t wait.

On my way home I stopped to snap some photos of a scene I see almost EVERY time, and always WISH I had my camera.

Closer

Closer still

I’m wondering which lense I need for my nikon to get in even closer. One day I’d love a real close zoom lense. I’m real technical with my photography terms aren’t I?!

I’m also wondering how many children, or limbs, I’ll have to sell to get that lense…

Any nikon photography buffs know this info for me? Do tell. There’s just way too much nature around here to not get at least a little closer then this!

Lastly, I’m wondering why this blog makes my large photos SO small even when I keep them within the width range…

Next, I stopped by to snap some photos of this old pickup truck. It’s for sale.

I really like it!

Not enough to buy it mind you… (not that I could anyways…although Joshua would love to…)

There’s just something about an old beat up truck.

Reminds me of one my dad had years and years ago! We called it “Bonky” because when you drove down the street you went “bonky. bonky. bonky”. With a Dutch accent, it sounds better.

I came home and snapped a photo of the flowers coming up in my flower bed.

My husband asked if the snow was all gone. Yep! I’d say so!

We let Stevie out to play a while this morning.

Shaylah loves him, and he loves Shaylah too.

Played with my puppy for a bit.

Had the kids do their chores and we got started on school.

Alesia put dinner in the crockpot, bean slop. I should get a photo of that. Actually, I should have Alesia do a guest blog post and post her recipe. It’s very tasty. I told her we need to rename it as Maple Bean and Bacon Medley.

Once school was done, I finished some work and posted who won the most recent contest.

I had a shower and cut my hair. Cutting Julia’s hair the other night and seeing how healthy it now looks, put me in the mood to trim my own.

I always cut my own hair.

No picture of that either. I don’t like photos of myself much. I need to get over that.

Chatted on the computer with dear hubby for a bit, fooled him into thinking Alesia was going to buy the above truck. Hee hee. Told him I was kidding.

She IS looking for an old(er) vehicle though.

Speaking of old(er), she mentioned a story from work at the dinner table the other night, in reference to an ‘older’ guy, I asked how old this ‘older’ guy is. She told me, “Oh… 48 or something?”

I’m almost 40.

Dh is almost 45.

If 48 is older…? yikes! What happened to ‘middle-aged’???

At 3:30 we needed to pick up Joshua, so we all piled into the SUV and headed out. We also had to run some errands. Joshua wanted to speak with someone about a farm hand job, so we stopped for that.

Along the way, I pulled over to snap a photo, and check this out.

I think it’s a hawk, just not sure what kind. You don’t want to see why he was there… I did NOT snap a photo of that.

Then Alesia treated me to a take out coffee on our way to the feed store.

We stopped by a used auto place and browsed a little.

Stopped by Joshua’s other boss’s place to pick up his paycheque (or paycheck for those of you in the US).

Then Joshua forced me to go to the bank so he could deal with his pay…

I was reminded why I don’t like going to the bank… we got in, and got out, second bank trip in one week. I’m thinking bank trips without warning are better then those WITH warning.

Then off to the feed store to get horse feed and layer pellets.

No more rabbit pellets, because sadly, Shaylah’s rabbit finally died last week.

I say finally because it was to be expected. He had been having the occasional seizure for over a year now.

He was a good bunny. Lived a nice long life. He was one of our first bunnies on the Homestead, yet survived the longest.

Then we headed to the grocery store and video rental shop, where Alesia treated her younger sisters to a movie and treats for tonight. We waited while she went in.

Yes, even Teagan.

No, he does not sit on my lap while I drive. Just while we wait.

And here, I could put the photos of the girls that I snapped in the SUV while we waited, but they would be mad at me. I don’t know why. They don’t seem to like when I snap their photos without warning. Ha!

So we went home, had our dinner that was waiting in the crockpot and the kids had treat night and a movie while I chatted with a friend and wrote this post.

Now I’m going to go out and do a bit more sewing before I head to bed for the night!

With dear hubby away, how am I doing?

This question was asked on our facebook page. I have such a great facebook page full of such fantastic people! Seriously!

Well, until today, all was going very well. Today I had to go into the city and decided I’d go by myself, with no children, after dropping my eldest off at work. Thought it might be a nice ‘treat’.

Now I’m going to be openly honest and share, and I give you total permission to laugh at me, all you want, just let on like you didn’t though.

Today, I had to go do some banking.

This is something my husband normally does.

Why does banking frazzle me? I honestly have NO clue. I consider myself a fairly ‘calm’ person, pretty ‘together’ for the most part (ok, those who know me, better NOT be laughing yet, this isn’t the funny part!), I mean I’m a fairly successful business woman. Why should something as simple as banking make me nervous?

Well one other thing also frazzles me, just a little…

Driving in the city.

Our nearest city is pretty small, especially the one our bank is at, but all the cars, the bad drivers, the pedestrians everywhere, the bikes, oh, and the elderly in their motorized scooters… you seriously can not forget them… especially when they drive on the road and pull right out in front of you.

Sheesh…

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE driving. REALLY love it. For 17 years I had a Dodge Caravan. Mind you, it sat in the driveway, dead, for the last two years of it’s life but never the less, I had a Dodge Caravan. It wasn’t exactly the most “fun” vehicle to drive, but it was a very reliable vehicle and never, ever, let me down. I always enjoyed driving it, well… except when there was snow but that’s a whole other story.

Last spring when both dear hubby and my businesses were doing well, after going without any vehicle except the parked 17 year old dodge caravan, for the past two years, we decided it was time to get me an upgrade. I searched and searched and searched for a vehicle that would fit the bill. I knew I didn’t want another little van, because of the issues in the snow. It had to be at least 7 passenger, preferably 8, to fit all 7  of us and some groceries or a pet or two. I also wanted it to be better on gas then our old suburban that my husband was driving at the time. That didn’t leave me with many options but finally, we found a 2005 Ford Expedition that fit all my expectations of a vehicle, and then some! I love this thing. I love driving even more now. Even with all the snow we had this winter, I was always able to get out! I LOVE a reliable vehicle! But this vehicle is even fun!

Yet, no matter how much I love a vehicle, I don’t know if I can ever love city driving.

It frazzles me.

The elderly people on their scooters probably cause the most ‘frazzling’.

So anywho… I get into the ‘city’ and first I’m feeling nervous about finding a good parking spot. It’s not like I’m driving a little Prius and can park anywhere. I need space!

I find the perfect spot, right in front of the bank. Great! I tell myself to relax, breathe. . . seriously. . .

As I climb out of my vehicle, being careful not to have my door swing into oncoming traffic and being aware not to step on my gorgeous Linnea hand dyed bamboo velour, ankle length skirt, I have my keys in my hand and I accidentally hit the alarm button…

Oh . dear . me .

I don’t know when this panic stricken woman decided to take up residence in this body of mine, but she can leave any time now. Really! (she can take the extra pounds that took up residence years ago, with her too…)

By the time I found the alarm button on my key ring while stumbling (no longer gracefully) out of my SUV, all the while fully aware every eye in the bank is probably looking my way wondering why my alarm is going off, blaring for the world to hear… my hands were trembling. Great! Just what I want, to go into the bank, which I already hate going into, with trembling hands…

I made it though. I made it in, paid the bills, and got out of there.

Then, as I was fumbling with my keys yet again, being sure NOT to hit the alarm button this time (which I should add, I’ve never done before…) and trying carefully to open my door and get in, without backing up oncoming traffic by having my door open too wide (narrow busy street, gotta love them!) I then proceed to step on the bottom of my skirt as I step up on the running board and slide into my seat.

All I can say, is thank goodness for very stretchy yoga waist bands…

I slide into my seat as quick as I could, trying to keep my skirt from sliding off me while trying to shut the door as fast as I could. Finally, I was in my seat.

With my purse wedged between my seat and the door.

It figures…

Ok, open door, get my purse unstuck, set it on the passenger seat, stick my keys in the car, get the music going, and TRY, with the help of Ke$sha, (I know, I know… Ke$sha? but I love her, she reminds me SOOOO much of one of my best friends in highschool!) to calm those now, very rattled, nerves.

After that, I made a quick trip to a small shop that was having an 80% off sale for some things we needed. Then I planned to treat myself to a French Vanilla Cappuccino from Tim Hortons (my favorite!!), but by that time, I was just so “over” being in the city, I just had to leave and get myself home.

On my way home, I saw an eagle fly down to the road right in front of me, trying to pick up something on the other side of the highway barrier. Even though it was trying to pick up ‘road kill’, the scene was just so majestic, and breathtaking.

Seeing that eagle swoop down, right after being in the city for just that short period of time, reminded me of how much I love nature, how much I love the country, and how much I really do NOT like city.

At . All .

I suppose, with this new lifestyle our family is living and may live for quite some time, I will have to get over it at some  point. I know I will too. But today, right now, I’m glad I’m home again and I’ll be happy to stay here for a while, with my 2.2 pound puppy sleeping on my lap, my children playing nearby and our horses just outside my window.

It’s now been over a week since my husband left to work out of province. If you’d like to read more about that, he’s keeping a daily journal on his blog here: http://homesteaddad.wordpress.com/

As for how things have been around here…

Actually much better then I had anticipated.

Last week went by somewhat through a hazy and tired blur.

I don’t normally “do” tired. I can live off very little sleep for the most part, but I always need a little boost of at least one day every so often, of sleeping in. I didn’t have my boost the past two weeks, so by the end of the week I was beginning to feel a little zombie-ish.

Between getting up early to get the older two kids to work on time, and my body just not co-operating with this new early morning routine and thinking it can still stay awake until 2 am, it was a little too much. Saturday I slept in. I woke up at 7:00 and laid there and COUNTED and counted and counted until I went back to sleep and slept until 10:15. The younger three were at my parents for a few nights, so I figured I’d better grab the opportunity to catch up on sleep while I could! I think that did the trick!

By last night, Sunday, I was able to fall asleep before midnight. Almost a miracle for me. When I woke at 6:15 this morning, it wasn’t quite so bad. It’s barely 8:00 am and I’ve already taken Alesia to work, had my quiet reading time, made coffee, drank a cup of coffee and onto my second one, checked my emails and now I’ve got some time to blog before I wake the younger kids. This is probably the first time I’ve ever blogged in the morning. Could become a nice habit!

Yesterday was church, without dear hubby. That seemed weird.
We actually haven’t been going to a church regularly for oh… about 7 years now. We used to be quite involved in church, and then found it was beginning to tear our family apart, rather then build us up. So we took a ‘sabbatical’ I guess you could call it.  That may ‘shock’ some, but actually, it’s the best thing we could have ever done. At one time our family was so busy “doing” for the church, that our own family life was falling apart. When church takes center stage over family, something needs to change, so that’s what we did. One might think our faith would have diminished during those 7 years, but actually, it was quite the opposite. If one believes in God, one knows He is everywhere, not just in certain buildings.

Yesterday was church for the first time without my husband. It felt so weird being the one to drive us there. Strange to stand singing without dear hubby next to me. It was good though. We’ve been attending this ‘new-to-us’ church, off and on,  for a few months now. The entire service was mostly about a simple message of “Show and Tell”.

I’ve always been a good one for showing, in this life of mine. Telling… well… not so much, as some of you may have noticed. I am, however, amazed by how many still recognize my faith, even though I don’t often share it. Some of you have emailed me about this or that, and let me know we are in your prayers as we go through these changes in our family’s life. For that I am grateful, and feel blessed that you have been thinking of us.

My motto in life has always pretty much been:

We should never feel the need to ‘make’ others believe what we believe, instead, we should be living our lives in such a way that others would greatly desire what they see that we have.                   ~Pieternella A.W.

That’s my life’s quote, my own. To live my life in such a way that others would desire what they see I have. I don’t “not” share my faith because I’m embarrassed to. I don’t share, because I haven’t been asked to and I don’t feel it is my purpose in life, at this very time, to try to save the world. It is my purpose, at this very time in my life, to be here for my husband, and my children, and my extended family as they need me.

So, for those of you who read my blog and are Christians, don’t ever doubt my reasons for not sharing all that often, openly. My husband is much better at that then I am.

For those who are not Christians and read my blog, I hope you will continue to visit because although my faith is a very large part of who I am, and all that is important to me (love, peace, patience, kindness, etc…), it only makes me a better person. It does not cause the opposite. I will not judge you for not also sharing in my own faith, and simply ask that you not judge me for having that faith be a part of who I am.

If we are all truly one people, then we must learn to accept one another as we are. Not just when others are the ‘same’, or similar to us and how we live.
Remember that, dear mothers, as you go about your daily life today. I see it all too often in life, but even more so, online. Mothers tearing one another apart, because they are different in some way, how they raise their children, how many children they have, whether they choose to do this, or that, or the other… if you’re a mother online, you know the types of things I’m referring to.

Challenge yourself to be TRULY different.
To be loving and encouraging to one another no matter what.

It can be very difficult, if we’re truly honest with ourselves.
But it is a necessary challenge within ourselves if we are going to teach our children how to love one another, and really make this world a better place. We all know in our hearts it is not right to ‘bully’ & judge  one another. We’ve all heard of the suicides, beatings and the other among our young people. Yet, do we understand it is the same when done amongst mothers? WE must teach our children, it starts with us, between ourselves. If we can not love one another, without judgement and condemnation, how then, can we expect this from our children?

So I guess, even though I do not feel it is my purpose at this very moment to “save the world”… I am doing what I know best, to equip MY children, to at least make this world a better place.

I’m simply teaching them to love, and that starts right here, right now,  with me. ?

Hubby got on an airplane this morning from Edmonton to Fort McMurray. A short flight that would take him to the first day of his new job.

Since hearing from him after arriving and settling in, I’m beginning to wonder why I ever felt any pity for him.

Ha!

So far he’s settled into his own private room, that even has a lock. This is supposed to be a “camp”. Funny. I went to camp. Quite a few summers in a row when I was a young teen. That doesn’t sound like any camp I’ve ever known!

Next he tells me he also has wifi, and sattelite tv.

Then he texts me with, ” Sitting here in camp eating lunch. Beef dip and corn chowder.”

Meanwhile…

I’m about to dig into my ‘brunch’. Stoned wheat crackers and peanut butter…

Is my sympathy beginning to slip?

You bet it is!

So now he just texted me again; ” This cafeteria is huge, and they have literaly everything and it’s all free.”

You need to put yourself in my shoes to understand the lack of sympathy I’m feeling, right now, at this moment.

Foods like crackers and peanut butter, noodles with butter and salt, homemade hamburger helper, and mostly, homemade soups, have been very much a regular part of our diets around here since he’s been out of work.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m VERY VERY happy for him too. Really I am! But right now, I’m also feeling a little jealous. I have to admit!

Oh and this husband of mine, I read the beginning of his first blog post last night. I’m now positive that my blog will soon be lost and forgotten… I realized last night that our eldest daughter does not get her writing skills from her mother, she’s definitely her father’s daughter.

Both my husband and eldest daughter are quite stoic, (stoic-one who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain.), quiet about their feelings, and not ones to openly share a whole lot. Yet both of them seem to have such a knack for truly sharing their heart through the written word. Amazing.

I wanted so badly to share some of his blog post already. He’s writing the posts, then I’ll be inserting them into his blog for him, at least until he gets the hang of this blogging thing.

But would he let me?

Nooo… he said he has to go over it one more time.

Darn!

He’s not only stoic, he’s also a perfectionist.

Oh, and my day so far?

I got up, got dressed, took the puppy pee, had Joshua take the other lap dog pee, drove Joshua to work. Came home, let the chickens and ducks out, let the two bigger dogs out, gave all four of them bones, fed the two lap dogs, made a cup of coffee, had my quiet reading time, worked on orders and emails, packaged anything that needed to go out today, Alesia fed the horses, chatted with her a bit while I was working and while she was getting ready for work, then drove her to work but dropped her off at the post office next door where she’s going to ship today’s packages (SO nice of her to take over her daddy’s shipping job!), came home, took the puppy pee again, warmed up the second half of my coffee, grabbed some stoned wheat crackers and peanut butter and then got the texts from my husband.

We’ve both had busy days, one more exciting then the other, and it’s not even noon yet!

It’s only Tuesday but it feels like it should already be Friday!

It’s been a busy, and emotional, and tiring, but all in all good, week so far.

I thought I’d share a few snippets/peeks into the week so far.

Alesia has been bringing me flowers every so often. On Sunday, when I picked her up from work the night dear hubby left town, she brought me home these.

Aren’t they beautiful? I’m Dutch, of course I love tulips! I love the two bunches she picked, the purple and  yellow look gorgeous together!

I realize raising teens can be a difficult time, but it can also be a time of great rewards as you witness your children growing up into caring adults. We may still ‘bicker’ daily about the messes she leaves around the house, but the maturity I am beginning to see in this girl far outweighs the frustrations I might feel as I pick up yet another coat of hers off the floor. Ha! (just don’t expect me to say that AS I’m picking up another coat off the floor…)

With dear hubby away from  home, and travelling to different places, I thought it would be neat for him to have a blog! So I set one up for him, and he’s completely game to get it going! How awesome is that!?

http://homesteaddad.wordpress.com/

I can’t wait to see what he has to share. 🙂 I’ll try not to be jealous if people enjoy his blog much  more then mine!

It’s POURING rain outside. Just thought I’d share that snippet of news. We had a PILE of snow last week. Sadly it’s almost gone. I guess I shouldn’t be sad since I’m the one that has to drive the eldest two to work now, but the snow is just so much prettier then this rain and mud.

My puppy just sits and stares at me. I like to tell myself he’s gazing at me with love in his eyes…

He’s probably really just wondering if my skin tastes salty or not.

I’m late for school. It’s really bad when the teacher is late for class. I really should set a better example but got side-tracked by my dear hubby’s texts. Better go now though or they’ll revolt and start playing games instead of writing out their spelling words!

Oh, all four got 100% on spelling tests yesterday. Just thought I’d share that bit of info too.

Dear  hubby left just 30 minutes ago.

Life as we will now know it, has just begun.

I sent the kids out to scoop horse manure. I needed a few moments of quiet.

So far the rabbit has had a seizure (started just before hubby left), and I had to give the puppy a bath. Way to keep busy! I have no doubt the days will be busy.

I will be graced with the pleasure of getting up at the crack of dawn to have Alesia to work early for the next three days.

Woo hooo.

I guess I won’t have a hard time keeping with my “getting up on time” goal this week! Ha! I’m just glad I don’t have to wake the younger three up to take Alesia, at least I have Joshua here to ‘babysit’.

Although the girls are good about getting into the car quickly when they do have to come. I really can’t complain.

So…

Welcome new life. I look forward to getting to know you, well… I’m TRYING to look forward to it. Come on in and make yourself comfortable. I have no idea how long you’ll be hanging around, so let’s have a cup of coffee and sit a spell.

The time has finally come to send off my dear hubby. I’m trying not to be melodramatic. Really. It’s kind of hard though. We have no idea how long he’ll be gone. It could be days, it could be many weeks. We know nothing at this point.

On the one hand, I’m glad tomorrow is finally the day. I’m glad we finally know when he’s going, even if we know nothing else.

Waiting, and wondering, and never knowing when.

Feeling like I’m battling tears and anxiousness every time I think about him leaving, has been a very different emotion I’m not accustomed to, and to be honest, not really sure how to handle.

And I wonder if the kids aren’t feeling the same way.

I guess it’ll be my job to snuggle with them in front of the tv before bed each night. Maybe we’ll read stories instead. I’m not much one for tv.

This husband of mine doesn’t help matters of emotions either.

He has a note for me with a list of things, and phone numbers etc., that I might need while he’s away.

At the bottom of it it says, “Remember: I Love You!!”

Just shoot me now… <~~melodramatic, tsk tsk

DH means Darn Husband. I’m sure of it.

The other night, at 1 am, the hens and ducks were all spazing in their hen house. This usually means a mink, or possibly a cougar.

As I woke my husband to come with me to check on them, I realized he might not be here the next time they’re squawking.

I am glad to have a man-child here, our almost 6 foot tall, 17 year old ‘boy’.
You can bet I’ll be dragging him out of bed if my dh isn’t here the next time.

But it still made me stop and think for a moment.

I’m sure all this is just as difficult for my husband. Wondering, waiting, yet knowing NOTHING.

As he shared with a friend on the phone today, being accustomed to being his own boss, running his own show, and now? Knowing nothing at any given time and having no control over any of it?

Well… it’s not easy.

My husband has been calling the company every day to see if any new jobs have come up. THREE times this past week there were jobs available, and each time they needed the person ONSITE within 12-24 hours, and each time the job was too far away to get to in time.

We live on an Island. You have to take a ferry just to get to the mainland. Then these jobs have all been on the other side of the Rockies. We knew that would be the way. What we didn’t know was that they’d only be giving very short notice.

Tomorrow, he’s leaving to go stay with my sister and her family in hopes that being off the island, and through the worst part of the Rockies, will give him some lead time the next time a job comes up.

In any case, tomorrow he leaves and we continue hoping.

It will be a new routine, a different routine. In our twenty years of marriage we’ve always been together. This will be different.

Very different.

But for now, I’m trying to think only positively, and think about him getting a job, and getting to that job.

I’m reminding myself that there are strong families out there doing this every day. If they can do this, we can do this!

As for living without hubby here everyday? That part I will take one baby step at a time.

If I try any more then that, if I try making any giant leaps, I might not make it…

Falling is always painful and no one is a fan of pain.