One day, I’ll be able to share more. I really can’t wait. I don’t do well with ‘secrets’, especially good ones, but I must sit on my fingers, hold my tongue, and wait to share some other time.
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Parenting teens, it’s gone viral!
isn’t that all we can ask for? Isn’t that what life, with kids, is really all about? Each one of us doing the best we know how, and when we make mistakes, making sure we don’t shirk our responsibility for those mistakes, but to take them, and learn from them, and grow.
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Sunday thoughts.
You can choose to believe or disbelieve, agree or disagree with what I’m sharing, but I’m simply sharing. Nothing more, nothing less. These are my thoughts.
As I pondered this, I heard God’s soft voice whisper to me.
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The beach with Julia
For anything in life to be truly worthwhile, you must add in that little side of fun!
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I should write more often about all the great things.
forgive me when I vent, whine, and even get a little b!&*y at times! I believe in keeping it REAL here on the blog. Not just in the good times, but in the bad times too!
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I try not to be bitter
The other day a friend shared a link that I thought was very insightful, and very true, sadly.
http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/2151
I wouldn’t even begin to pretend to know what that family went through, but as far as other’s opinions go, we’re going through similar right now with the sale of our home taking so long and our family being split apart across the country since my husband has been away most of last year.

People constantly assume things, even though we ALL know assuming isn’t right! Yet we do it all the time anyways. Along with judging. The two go hand in hand.
Just the other week, someone said to Alesia, my eldest daughter,
“I just don’t feel your family is supposed to move.”Alesia was like, “O… k… so what’s that mean? We should leave our father living alone halfway across the country? Or should he come back here again, to no work? Maybe collect unemployment benefits, or go on welfare perhaps?”
She didn’t say those things, she’s got more grace then that. But that’s what we’d like to reply sometimes to these well meaning comments.In case this guy didn’t realize it, we’re not doing this just for fun! My husband is there for a reason, a job. It’s something a family kind of needs in order to survive, pay bills, and eat! Shockingly enough! (yes, I can be sarcastic and yes, read that with complete sarcasm!)People constantly assume things.That guy, the neighbour, in the above link/story that was shared, when he called the family that was suffering, he assumed they were out to ruin the property values without a care in the world about their neighbours. Meanwhile, why didn’t the neighbours even realize something must be amiss? If this family always had their property looking wonderful, and then suddenly not, wouldn’t you have to ask yourself why that’s changed? Or simply ASK them kindly first, before flying off the handle and causing even more grief?Isn’t it funny that we, as a society, often have no problems with flying off the handle at someone, telling it like it is we call it, yet we have problems with simply asking questions? That really is very backwards. When we fly off the handle, we look like fools when proven wrong. Yet we willingly risk looking like fools, simply because we feel we have a ‘right’ to let off steam and ‘fight’ for what we ASSUME to be the truth.This guy who talked to Aleseia, why didn’t he ask, “Is there any kind of support your family could use while your father is away?” instead of just sharing his opinion on what he feels we should be doing?
I will never understand why anyone feels they have a right to voice their opinion about what our family should do, or what God is speaking to our family, when they are not even TRYING to show our family loving support, or any help in any way? If you can’t hear God telling you to care for your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t expect me to believe you hear God telling you what our family should, or should not do, in such important matters. Sorry, it just does not work that way! In that case, just keep your opinions to yourself, and if you feel so strongly about them, ask God to show us Himself.
We’ve had other people say the same thing to us. “I don’t think you’re supposed to move, this is taking too long, etc. etc.etc..” yet those same people fail to ask if we have any needs;
Could I use a hand since I’m living without a husband here?
Is there anything they can do to help us? Help with the homestead, the house, the cars?
Could they just be an ear so I can vent, or a shoulder to cry on?
Can they do something fun with my kids since my kids don’t have their father around to do it with them???
I fight with myself constantly not to feel bitter with these same people who assume to know our future, share their opinions, which are of little to no value to me. I do really well too, until people share their opinions, strongly. Why not share your support strongly instead? Why is it so easy for people to be negative? AND feel good about it?
Today, I encourage you to do something positive! Go out of your way to bless someone! And negative opinions? Keep those to yourself! Let’s see how strong we all REALLY are! THAT is true strength. The strength to keep your mouth shut when you’ve got that horribly strong urge to open it when you KNOW you really should in a way that will encourage!
And to those who DO support our family, I don’t think you’ll ever know how much we appreciate your support and how much it means to each one of us! It’s been a very long haul, and without you, we never would have made it this far! I hope we can continue to make it to the end of this journey!
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My weeks, in reality. Getting things done in the home.
I don’t REALLY spend all my days whining. It’s too busy around here to do much whining. In my down time, like when I’m in my queen sized bed all alone at night, knowing my husband is alone in another bed, far away from me, wishing we could be together, that I do the most of of my whining.
Or in the morning before the kids are up, and I’m doing my devotions in front of the fire. I get all melancholy, stare at the fire, and find I have a hard time writing in my prayer journal because I feel like I’m writing the same things over and over again. Asking God to just let our family be together again. I try really hard to fill the pages with prayers about other things, prayers for other people, yet I find myself still coming back, in the end, every single day to, “Please, just bring our family together again… and let us get on with it already.”
In reality, my days between my morning devotions and my bedtime are busy and that’s probably a good thing. Who wants to have too much time to mope and whine?! I sure don’t!
Since about the middle of December my kids have been sick. This is very rare for us. So far, I’ve been able to fight it off. I’ve spent most of that time though FEELING like I’m fighting. Never feeling 100%, but yet not really feeling SICK either. Just dragged out, tired, like the way you feel when you’re in your first trimester of pregnancy (and no, there’s no way I’m pregnant, if God’s going to provide us with a miracle, it won’t be that one!) I’ve been fighting with no energy, never feeling all that great, and just needing sleep a lot more then I normally would, yet not actually having the time to get even enough sleep. This has been making it even more difficult to stay on top of everything in the home.
Most nights are spent up til after midnight, either working, or just because there’s not enough hours in a day to get it all done. I find I can’t get everything done early enough lately, but I also like to spend some time with the kids before they go to bed, and also have some down time of my own. This means I’ve been getting to sleep around 2-3 am most nights, or should I say, mornings?
This really isn’t such a great routine. I need to get out of it.
I shared about my breakdown a couple of weeks ago after the first of the year.
Well, one of the issues was trying to stay on top of this HOUSE, which is for sale, which people call or email me to want to VIEW, at any given moment! To say I detest living in a ‘show home’ would be putting it mildly. I am SO tired of having our home for sale! I want to just live my life, have my personal photos on the wall, and let my family be who they are!My kids and I are NOT neat freaks. We’re not slobs either, but we ARE busy people, who spend a lot of their time being creative!
Did you know that most creativity brings about some mess with it?
And clutter?BUT, I’ll be darned if having our home for sale is going to dampen my kids creativity and learning processes! These messes though, the continual messes, do kind of get a little over whelming when you’re also trying to sell your house!
For example, Elsa loves to make cakes and is learning how to use fondant. She’s been spending any extra money she’s earned (or received for her birthday & Christmas) on fondant and cake making/decorating supplies lately. When she works on a cake(s) she uses the entire dinning table. I’m not going to stop her either. However, we also need to eat at that table, and… making cakes and getting creative with all her fondant etc. can take her DAYS.

Shaylah, on the other hand, LOVES to draw, write, and read. At any moment you will find drawings, pencils, pencil crayons, markers, even crayons, pages of writing, and then books, just about anywhere and everywhere. I DO encourage her (OFTEN) to put all these drawings in her art folder, her writings in her binder, and to keep all her ‘tools’ put away, but again, Shaylah can spend days on projects!

Julia, well she also loves to read a lot, but her biggest messes are in the cabin/studio, along with MY biggest messes. We both LOVE fabric, and we both hate to waste anything, so all our fabric clippings, unless they are too small for ANYTHING (which means smaller then 2×2 inches around here), we save to be used for other things later on. Waste not, want not, right?

All those fabric scraps, then all the fluff (Oh the fluff!!!) from all our cutting… well, we could vacuum twice a day and still have fabric fluff floating around the studio. Especially the bamboo velour, our favorite fabric to work with of course. The fluff that comes off that fabric while you cut! It’s incredible. When I’m finished work, even my eyelashes are covered in fuzz. I don’t bother wearing mascara “to work” anymore. Fabric fuzz on top of mascara… it’s not so pretty.
Then there’s Joshua. I won’t go on to share about how the work shop looks right now. My son is into mechanics, and welding, and all kinds of other stuff… need I say more?

Alesia, well… she’s a typical 20 year old and into hair products, clothes, books, movies, clothes, hair products, make up, and make up (oh, did I repeat some of those?). She also loves to cook and bake. I really enjoy her cooking and baking, we all do, so I try REALLY hard not to complain about the mess… too often. She’s been able to cook a meal for a party of 12 or more since she was about 13 years old. I’m proud of her for that! I just wish cleaning came as naturally as the cooking… lol She works out of the home though about 30-36 hours a week, and helps with the business too, so I feel guilty asking her to clean too often. However, cleaning as she goes… well I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

During that time I had my ‘breakdown’, I realized something needed to be done around here. My older two kids KNOW what they need to do. I don’t feel I should have to “nag” them to get their work/cleaning done (I won’t say whether my theory on not nagging ‘adult children’ actually works…). But I knew I needed to figure out a new plan of attack with the younger three girls.
We’ve tried daily chore charts in the past, but honestly, they just don’t work for us.
Then I got to thinking about how things are done at a “job”. Take some fast food restaurants for example. If you go in the bathroom, often there will be a sheet on the back of the bathroom door that each employee needs to ‘sign’ to show that they cleaned the bathroom at a certain time each day. This way, the manager knows when, and what, has been done.I realized this could work in a busy home too. Having a list for each ROOM, rather then a list for all the children on the fridge.
Their bedroom, the upstairs bathroom, and the hall, etc. are NOT near the fridge. Having a list with those chores, on the fridge, just makes no sense to me!
So this is what I did! I printed out some pages, just simple chore chart pages, and then sat down with all three girls at the table and we decided what needed to be done in each room, and who would do each task.Then we made squares so that they could put in a check mark as they finish each task! These lists are hanging in each room, or on the doors of each room, where ever is most appropriate.

It’s been going pretty well. I think there’s always a lot of confusion for children if they don’t know exactly what’s expected of them. Heck, the same can be said for adults too! If we start a job and the boss simply says, “Here’s the job, now go at it!” how are you going to know just what it is that is expected of you?!
Now the kids know exactly what’s expected, and exactly what THEY each need to do in each room of the house. It worked out that in each of the larger rooms, there’s about 6 jobs they need to cover so each one has 2 jobs. That made things simple because we wrote those jobs down, then I let them each pick which of the two jobs they liked best! They all like doing different things and each was satisfied with the tasks they have to do.
For the smaller ‘rooms’ of the house, they each choose one room. Julia is in charge of the downstairs bathroom, Shaylah the upstairs bathroom, and Elsa is in charge of the stairs/hallway.
What’s my job? To keep on top of the dishes, and the laundry and do the deep cleaning where needed. We all felt that if they did all the ‘little’ things like sweeping/vacuuming floors, etc. (we have a VERY small house, these are SMALL jobs) then I would take care of the biggest jobs.

And that’s how we’re trying to stay on top of things in our home!
How do YOU organize chores etc. in YOUR home?
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Blogging, not so good at it lately! Choosing joy instead!
I was sharing on facebook that I haven’t blogged a whole lot lately. I feel like if I blogged every day, it’d pretty much go like this:
Monday- whine about missing hubby, then reprimand myself for whining
Tuesday- Brag about what awesome kids I have and then whine about them not having their dad around.
Wednesday- whine about hubby working so far away, then kick myself in the a$$ for being such a whiner
Thursday- whine about hubby being gone over 8 months last year, then kick myself in the a$$ again. Ouch, that’s starting to bruise now.
Friday- show appreciation for all the blessings I have in my life including a hard working hubby who’s living far away, without his family, so we can get our bills paid. I kicked myself in the a$$ hard enough the day before. :p
Saturday- whine about our house not selling. Then beat my head against a wall because I know EVERY ONE is SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT! Including me!!!
Sunday- I’m too busy whining to God, to whine on the blog today.Really! I don’t blog half the time because I’m too busy arguing with myself!
I actually do spend a LOT of time arguing with myself. A friend on facebook said I shouldn’t beat myself up so much, but really, don’t feel bad. I’m not beating myself up so much as I am reminding myself to choose another path for my thoughts, my attitude, each and every day!
Yesterday, I did something I haven’t done in quite a while. I spent some money, for no particular reason. What brought me to the point of being willing to spend some hard earned cash on something other then bills and food? This continual arguing with myself. This relationship between me, myself, and I, it’s getting too complicated.
I bought a package of these:
http://shop.lilblueboo.com/product/choose-joy-wristbands-pack-of-20-shipping-included
Now instead of arguing with myself, I’ll just keep repeating, “choose joy, choose joy!”
If you’ve read Ashley’s story of “choosing joy”, you’ll know why there’s no reason I can’t, and shouldn’t, do the same!
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Elsa is 14!
I can’t believe it, but Elsa is FOURTEEN years old today. Fourteen years ago today, I gave birth to my curly haired, truth speaking, never boring, little girl.

Life, with Elsa, is always, anything, but boring!

Elsa is my least photographed child.

But when I can get her to co-operate, we get some of the very best photos!
She could care less what you think of her big “poofy” hair…
and won’t do anything with it (brush/comb) it unless you tell her to. Even at this age.
Yet if I try to snap a photo, she’ll yell, “My hair isn’t done!” just to get out of having her photo taken!

She’s as unique in personality, as she is in looks!

She wants to be a great baker, like “Buddy” from Cake Boss one day.
Says she’ll open up her own shop too.Time will tell what all Elsa will do, but I have no doubt that with her determination, and her family’s support, she will succeed.
Happy Birthday Elsa!
*If you’re new to the blog and you’d like to read about the ‘adventure’ of Elsa’s birth and the great Ice Storm, you can find those previous posts here:
Part 1: http://homesteademporium.wordpress.com/2011/09/05/the-waiting-game-in-pregnancy-and-in-life/
Part 2: http://homesteademporium.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/the-waiting-game-in-pregnancy-and-in-life-continued/
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Organizing House & Home
In the 21+ years my husband and I have been married, I’ve never been in charge of our bills/budget.
We would decide upon everything together, but my husband has always been the one to sit down and crunch the numbers on paper, keep tally of everything, and whenever I needed to know what was going on with the bills etc. I’d simply ask.
However, when my husband moved away for work back in July, I needed to step in and take over paying the bills and making sure everything was as it should be.
Wow…
Who knew it was such an undertaking!?
It’s especially tasking because about half our income is through the business. I don’t even know how he kept on top of everything when we were BOTH self employed.
With a lot of prayer perhaps?
Trying to keep on top of everything, when you don’t know what half your income is even going to be, and whether or not it will even be enough to cover it all, has been quite the experience.
However, I can say it’s been quite the LEARNING experience. And, as with 99.9% of things in life, I do love to learn, and I’m almost always up for a challenge!
This week, after handling the bills for the past 6 months (plus the early part of the year, but I won’t bother counting that, we’ll say it was my ‘training’ period) I do believe I may just finally have it down pat! I finally feel on top of it all!
*This is when it will probably all change right? Sell a house perhaps? I promise, I won’t mind reworking a new budget one bit if that happens!
I haven’t exactly figured out everything, but I have been able to ORGANIZE it all, so that I really feel like I’m on TOP OF all the bills getting paid!
Don’t get me wrong, we always pay our bills, but paying your bills in a confident manner, and paying your bills in a harried feeling of frenzy, are two very different things. Sure, the end result is the same, paid bills, but the stress level of the one paying those bills isn’t exactly at the same level! I MUCH prefer skipping past the feeling of frenzy, thankyouverymuch!
For the past years, I’ve been in charge of the business budget, but a lot of that “can” be done on an “as needed” basis. If I’ve got an influx of cash (for example, a large wholesale order) I simply use the extra funds to purchase things I know I’ll need in the next few weeks or months. Bamboo velour, snaps, dyes, fleece, windpro, polymailers, bags, etc.. The business takes care of itself pretty well, and always has. It’s the personal INCOME part of the business that’s trickier. If you’ve ever run your own small business, you know that YOU always get paid last. At least in MY world, that’s the way it goes.
THAT’s the part that’s a little more difficult to “nail in” for the house and home budget.
But now, with my newly organized budget and paperwork in place, I feel much more confident!

*not my budget, free stock photo.What did I change? Basically I began six months ago, simply working from a page that my husband had printed out with all our bills each month, and the dates they needed to be paid. They were all in point form, and the totals were approximate estimates as to how much each bill would be. However, when he created this list for me, we had no clue what his final bottom line would be for his pay each month, so that was not figured in yet. The income portion of the budget is obviously as important as the outgoing, so this, along with my income never being ‘fixed’, made things pretty difficult to manage.
Now that we know his aprox. income every two weeks, I decided to make up a new budget sheet with exact figures (where ever possible!) and rather then working off ONE sheet for forever, printing out a new budget sheet for each and every month with a line for “available balance” next to each bill, and each paycheque. A lot like keeping a chequebook, only more detailed. That old sheet had a LOT of scribbles and notes all over it! It was making me feel as jumbled as it looked!
Since we don’t know exact amounts for my income each week, I still can’t budget down to the last penny until some day in the future when we can get AHEAD, but for now, I feel much better about things. And with that, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief!
The next thing I tackled was the organization of our home! With the help of the kids, of course!






