• A trip around the house.

    I wanted to snap some after shots of our back porch this morning, before it became too cluttered with shoes and rubber boots from seven people, and the rest of the clutter I know will end up on there.

    So I grabbed my camera and headed out the door.

    Graydon (hubby) also built a bin for our garbage cans.

    When building the steps he kept our good friend with MS in mind and made them extra sturdy with good rails. Now anyone who visits will be able to get in and out the porch with no problems. The steps that were already here, were not so great.

    I think it all looks SO pretty back there now. It looks charming!

    Graydon used large pieces of glass that he had salvaged from a previous job. Can you imagine these large pieces of glass simply being thrown away?

    It`s the same glass he  used when creating our new front deck a few years ago.

    IMGP7185

    Recycling at it`s best.

    Speaking of recycling, as I went around the house to get photos from the other side, I noticed the old back steps are doing very well as our new garden beds.

    I have no doubt they are going to get overcrowded quite quickly. They`ve already doubled in size in just one week. I keep telling myself I`ll figure it out later. Ha ha.

    I also noticed that new pots are doing well. I have TWO Calla Lilies in one pot now!

    And what I love about having everything in containers this  year, is if we do move, we could move everything with us if we have the space.

    In our city home, I had planted well over 100 bulbs in the three years we had lived there. Mostly tulips, dahlias and gladiolas. All favorites of mine. Every time I passed by a yard sale that had bulbs, I`d buy some and plant them in my garden. I was SOOOOO sad to leave them when we sold that property.

    Our sunflowers are also doing quite nicely.

    So are the tomatoes.

    One year we purchased two rhododendrons. This one has done well, it doesn`t really grow much, but it`s blooming very nicely.

    Yet we had to finally give up on it`s twin, and pull it this year. It was a brittle stalk of nothingness. We`re not sure why. Possibly it was the two larger dogs favorite spot? We`re just not sure.

    This post is so `me`. I get distracted easily. I AM able to get back on track though, thankfully for my customers. hee hee.

    But while being distracted on my trip around the house to get photos of the other side of the porch, lookie what we found on the deck this morning.

    I have to say, isn`t it gorgeously disgusting?! Or is it disgustingly gorgeous?

    In either case, creation is magnificent. Nature is a marvel.

    As the girls `pet` the magnificently gross moth, I realized I`ve taught this to my girls VERY well. Hee hee.

    Lookie what else I found this morning. My first Fuschia!

    While wandering around the house, I also spotted some sexy guy near the fire pit. shh….. This is where you may insert eye rolling from anyone of our five children, and possibly an exasperated `MOMMY!` from Elsa…  actually, except Julia. She`s a romantic. She loves it when her mama and daddy are flirty or smoochy with one another.
    I think it`s great that after almost 21 years of marriage, after being with the same man for OVER 21 years, I still think he`s the sexiest man alive. 😉
    We`ve worked darn hard to get this far!  

    See the new bench that sexy man gave me for Mother`s Day?

    It has horses on it.

    I`m not the type of person who loves everything `horse` but some things are tastefully done, and those things are the ones I love.

    I love this bench.

    And finally, I made it to back to the porch once again.

    Time to get on with my day.

    Made some smoothies, washed some dishes, and now it`s coffee time.

    The rest of my day will be spent in the studio for the most part.

    What are you up to on this first day of June? Leave a comment and share!

  • The heart of this woman today.

    I want to ask, Why?
    Yet I know if I needed to know why, You would tell me.

    IMGP8627

    I want to ask When?
    Yet I know that if I need to know when, You will tell me.

    Sunset

    I want to ask Where are You?
    Yet I know You are right here, with me, right now.

    DSC_5515

    I want to ask Why don’t You hear me?
    Yet I know that You do, You are listening. It is I who is not hearing You.

    Sunset

    I want to ask Don’t You even care?
    Yet I already know that You do. Your love in my life has been evident since before I even knew You.

    Sunset

    I know that You know, and that should be enough.
    I believe, I have faith. Help me with my unbelief. Help me with my doubt.

  • Psycho Nag

    This, is my horse Raiah.

    Raiah

    When I first heard about Raiah, I had been sent a message about a `paint` mare at the horse rescue. Our son had already purchased a young quarterhorse colt through this rescue, and they were keeping him (Bandit) there until we moved onto our new small hobby farm at which time he`d be able to come home.

    Raiah

    I`ve always loved paints. There is something just so dramatic about the coloring. Not just any paint though. I`ve seen many that I`ve not been real keen on, only certain paints really caught my eye. When I heard about this mare, I had to go take a look. Even more so because I was told that she had become Bandit`s (our son`s little colt) side kick and wasn`t allowing anyone else near him. Horse or human.

    I was also told she was kind of nasty and didn`t raelly like ANY one.

    Hmmm… I`d have to see about that.

    I messaged back that I`d like to come see this paint mare right away. I was told no one would be around that evening but since we had been doing some work at the rescue (volunteer) I was welcome to stop by on my own and go take a look BUT, to be very careful since she could be quite nasty and again I was warned that she didn`t like anyone.

    I was actually really glad to go see her all by myself, with no interference from anyone else. I wanted to see what she`d be like with me, just me, and not someone else she was already familiar with.

    When I arrived at the rescue the sun was setting. I glanced around the paddocks to see if I could spot the paint mare.

    Sure enough, there she was off in one paddock with no other horse around, but little Bandit.

    We had met up with Bandit countless times, so he was fairly nonchalant and didn`t pay much attention to whether we came or went. Raiah on the other hand, as soon as she saw me walking towards them, she confidently walked right up to me to let me know she was there. I just as confidently walked right up to her to let her know that I knew darn well she was there, and I was letting her know I was there too, and just what did she think about that?

    She gave me a sniff, and then let me pet her.

    I was amazed. Surely this wasn`t the nasty mare they all said she was. It was `love`at first sight.

    I`ve had Raiah now for almost six years and occasionally she likes to remind me that she truly is that psycho nag.

    IMGP3985

    For the most part, she is a really great mare.

    IMGP6108

    However, she`s got a REAL moody side to her. She`s also a bit of a SPAZ.

    Just a bit…

    The other night, morning actually, Sunday morning at 2am, I heard SCREAMING outside. And loud bangs.

    I stopped and listened hard, trying to decipher what it was my brain was hearing.

    It happened again, more screams, more bangs.

    I stepped outside onto the bedroom balcony in my flimsy nightgown, listening, waiting, trying to see what might be going on at the barn.

    Nothing.

    As I stepped back into the house, I heard it again. Another scream. This time I knew it was the horses.

    I quickly pulled on some yoga pants, threw on a sweater, and told Graydon there was something going on with the horses. I threw on my shoes and ran out the door, pondering whether or not to grab the baseball bat and wondering why it was that I can never find a good flashlight when this happens.

    It hadn`t been the first time…

    So I get out there, sure I might find a cougar in the paddock or some other such thing.

    Nope. Nothing. Nikki seemed a little spooked when she first saw me coming, but it was dark, so that wasn`t too odd.

    Each of the horses came over to see me. Everyone seemed fine.

    Then as I was standing there, petting Raiah, Bandit came over behind her and she let out a little scream, and a little buck at him, and I realized that once again my moody mare, my psycho nag, had gotten the better of me and it was time to put my heart back in my chest and realize it was simply yet another mood swing.

    None of our other horses have such mood swings. Not like hers anyways.

    IMGP3980

    She`s also not real fond of dogs. We have four.

    Baby&Raiah

    She does however, absolutely LOVE babies (of the horse variety that is) but was VERY perturbed that Mina got to have a baby, and not her! When she first met Lacey,  Mina`s filly, she was so excited she could barely stand it.

    Unfortunately she seemed to be as upset by the filly being  MINA`s and not HERS, as she was about her excitement about a baby being around.

    IMGP4083

     

    We had long since realized the reason she had been so stuck on Bandit was because he was a `baby`. She has a real motherly instinct about her.

    IMGP6120

     

    Unfortunately for Raiah, she never got to have that motherly bond with Lacey, Mina`s filly.

    self portrait - raiah

     

    However, she has been a great mare for the most part. While Mina was pregnant and nursing, Alesia rode Raiah.

    A lot.

    alesia, raiah

     

     

    Me however, not so much.

    The last two times I rode Raiah (too long ago for me to even mention, it`s that embarrassing!) I didn`t have great experiences with her.

    The one time she took off at a full gallop, with me on her.

    Then the next time, she spazed because of a great big empty cube truck that drove by us, rattling and banging VERY loudly down the road.

    She reared up, with me on her.

    However, both times I managed to stay on, stay calm, and round her up properly, so really, I should feel more empowered by those last two experiences, not scared.

    I tell myself that I don`t get back on her because if I can`t sew, if I should happen fall and break an arm, our family will be screwed… My business would be a mess.

    And it IS true.

    But I think it`s also become a really handy excuse.

    raiah sepia

     

    I really need to get over myself, stop putting it off, and just get back in the saddle.

    I need to stop being as moody as my psycho nag.

     

  • Sunday Seven- 7 things to be thankful for.

    Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

    Oprah Winfrey

    Today, I`m thankful that spring really seems to be here and all the flowers it brings. I love color.

    Seven flower photos.

    A tulip from my flower garden last year.

    A dahlia from another`s garden.

    tulipclose3

    Another tulip from a previous year.

    2009 Apr 26_1148

    A wild trillium.

    IMGP0912

    A gladiola.

    Enos Lake Flower Print

    Another wild flower, who`s name I can not recall at the moment.

    Roses from my own  yard in a small glass jar I found at the local thrift shop.

    *Sunday Seven- What are YOU thankful for today?
    If you’d like to play alone, post seven things on  your blog then share your link here so we can come visit you. 

  • Silly Saturday!

    What could be better on a Saturday then a smile?

    Silly Sisters

    TWO smiles!

    *It`s Silly Saturday. Capture a silly moment and share it with the world. Make someone smile today!

    If you’d like to play along, post your silly moment on  your blog, then leave a link for all of us to come see! 

  • Cat fight?

    We finally had a cat fight around here, a real one! Do we qualify for ‘real’ entertainment like the “real housewives” now?

    Hee hee.

    Well, we didn’t really have a cat fight, but we sure did have fun pretending.

    My eldest daughter’s friend came over last week, and I promised to do a photo shoot with them.

    First we started out all ‘proper’ like.

    Together.

    Seperate.

    Then, we had a little fun with it, and that’s where the ‘cat fight’ comes in.

    Look at the claws come out!

    But the best, was the kung fu!

    Oh my goodness, we all laughed so hard when we saw this one come up on the view finder! The tears of laughter were streaming down my face. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time!

    And then we got back to business and back to ‘proper’ photos once again.

    I think we need to do that again some time.

  • “While you were sleeping” surprise colorways stocking & more…

    We’ve been discussing what to title this week’s stocking on our facebook.

    One day last week, while most of you were probably sleeping, I had a ‘secret’ dyeing session.

    I had my younger three girls dye with me this time.

    I wanted a chance to just play with some color, without any pressure to produce any one thing in particular, and so the girls could have some fun with me. So we had a late night dyeing session.

    It was fun!

    Shaylah has been wanting to dye some fabric in the colors of her bird “Stevie” for quite some time now.

    So this is what she came up with! She’s making herself some cloths, and she let me use some for the shop as well. Our mini luxury cloths.

    Julia loves rich colors, here’s her piece. She used some of it for her own pad stash, which is growing by the WEEK. Ha! This girl is going to have the largest pad stash you’ve ever seen, and she’s only 11. She can’t help it, she loves color. We even cut me out a new pad with some of her fabric. We’ll show them here once they are done. She wants to show off her entire stash at that time.

    Elsa picked out a lot of pinks and purples and here’s what she ended up with.
    She cut out some cotton balls for this week’s stocking from her fabric, and gave some to Julia to cut out as well.

    Pretties that have been all cut, and now waiting to be sewn up by me.

    It’s very important to me that this business of mine, not only bless my children through the financial aspect of putting food on the table and a roof over their heads, but also in more personal ways.

    My time working, is time away from them. I may be “here” all the time, but I’m not here at “their” disposal all the time. I’m constantly having to say, “Sorry, but I can’t right now. I have a lot of work to do.”

    I don’t want them to hate this business because of all the time it pulls their mama away, so I include them in the business in any way that THEY want to be included.

    This is what makes this business a true ‘family’ business. It’s a part of our lives, we come together to create things for the shop, and find joy, and blessing, in it all.

    At one time Elsa and I offered scented sachets in the shop. My time became too limited to be cutting them out and helping her to sew them up, so we stopped.

    This past week however, I realized her sewing and cutting skills have now become such that she could possibly make the sachets all by herself!

    She was so excited! Here’s some of the ones she made for this week’s stocking.

    As for what I’ve been up to…

    Here’s a sneak peek at just a few of this week’s,
    “While you were sleeping…” stocking!

    I don’t want to show too much, or it will ruin the surprise!

    Everything will be previewing in the shop tonight in preparation for our stocking tomorrow at 11am pst/2pm est.

    http://hyenacart.com/HomesteadEmporium/

  • Daily dose of doggie

    Just thought I’d share.

    Life as a 2.5 pound, 7 inch tall, doggie. That’s the life of Teagan.

    I know he’s not a child, but he sure acts like one. When he does this he reminds me of a little toddler, peering out the window watching life go by and wishing they could be a part of it.

  • It’s spring, finally… I think?

    I think this is about the latest spring we’ve had yet.
    Although I do recall previous June’s being ‘not-so-lovingly’ called “June-uary” around here.

    It seems it’s been crazy weather EVERY WHERE this spring though. So many places hit so hard.

    With a couple of nice days here, it was time to get planting! Hubby, four of the kids and I, hit the local shop on Sunday to pick up shingles for the roof of our new porch, and some flowers.

    We took a look at the ‘ready-made’ pots and hanging baskets, took one look at the prices, and decided to d-i-y (do it yourself). We d-i-y quite a bit around here! We like it and it saves a ton of money! Ready made is always so much more expensive.

    We picked out enough flowering plants for 4 hanging baskets, and 2 large pots. When we divided what we paid, it was the same price per each, as it would have been for the cheapest baskets they had ready made, BUT, those had cheap flowers in them and only one type of flower per basket.

    We didn’t want the cheap ones, we wanted the pretty ones with LOTS of color and variety! And that’s what we’ve got now!

    I even splurged on some Calla Lily’s, one of my favorites! I’ve never bought Calla Lilly’s for myself before, they were always too expensive, but these smaller ones were very pretty, and the price was alright since I just bought two. One for each larger pot for the bottom of our deck steps.

    I can’t wait to watch them grow!

    This basket doesn’t look like a whole not now, but I expect within a few weeks with some sun and a little rain, we’ll be seeing some overflowing going on!

    For mother’s day, my son had taken me shopping for some plants. I finally found something that thrives in our dark flower bed next to the house.

    Hostas! I don’t know why I didn’t think of them before. I had hostas on our previous city lot, and they always did great in the shade. I guess I was always too busy thinking ‘flowers’ to even think of simple greenery. So glad I have something pretty in there now. I have two, but I think I need one more. They aren’t cheap though!

    Remember I mentioned that I have no garden, and how silly that seems on a five acre hobby farm?

    Well, I now have TWO gardens. Hee hee. They are small, but I think they are awesome anyways. To put a garden in here, we’d need to build a fence, a very high fence. We have a lot of deer, and rabbits. Because we’ve had our home up for sale, we just couldn’t see putting the money into a large garden area if we were just going to be moving anyways. However, 4 summers later, and still no garden, and still no sale, I wanted at least SOMETHING this year.

    In the city, I had a big garden. Isn’t that funny?

    So we’ve been discussing at least making some garden beds, but wood isn’t cheap either, if you want to do it right!

    When hubby was tearing down the back step, he turned the two side steps over, and what did he find? The steps were made like boxes! TWO boxes!

    How perfect! I know the lettuce is all a little cramped, but hey, you make do with what you’ve got and I’m not complaining!

    We put Sunflowers, two tomato plants and a pepper plant in the other box.

    I know it’s not much, but at least we’ll have home grown salads this summer!

  • Having hope- the heart of one woman

    Over the past few weeks several of you have emailed in regards to my blog, thanking me for the willingness to share, openly, about our ‘real’ daily lives here on the homestead, and more.

    Some have also said thank you  for sharing our ups and downs, with a good attitude.

    One of you shared in an email the other day,
    “I just appreciate your happiness that comes across online when I read about your biz and such.”

    I honestly don’t feel like I have a good attitude much of the time!

    Every day I struggle to keep my attitude in check, to not become disheartened.

    Yet, I do continue to fight the negativity, the grumpiness.

    I remind myself instead of the blessings surrounding me.

    There are many. 

    Love is patient, love is kind,
    Love does not insist on its own way.
    Love bears all things, believes all things,
    Hopes all things, endures all things.
    Love never fails.
                                                      – I Corinthians 13:4-8

    Most of my life I’ve been a bit of a people pleaser. Trying my best to only say things that will cause others to be ‘happy’, and not upset or disappointed with me.

    As I grow older, I’ve become a little tired of trying to keep my life looking ‘pretty’ all the time, by sweeping the ‘garbage’ in my life, from my past, under the carpet.

    I’ve grown tired of trying to keep everyone happy, and trying to please others. It’s really not possible, and really, who says anyone has asked me to anyways?

    Because the reality of life is, you can sweep the garbage under the carpet all you want. You can TRY your best to hide it.

    But that garbage is still there. And, after a while, it really starts to stink.

    I don’t want things to stink around here! I want to open the windows and let the breezes in. I want to open the doors and sweep the garbage right out!

    And THAT is why I try to keep a good attitude, through it all.

    I don’t always succeed at the battle between good attitude vs. grumpies. My family can attest to that! But I do try. I guess that’s what shows through here on the blog.

    Because really… life, can be hard.

    Life is hard for pretty much everyone. I  don’t know ANY person who has it easy, in every aspect of their life.

    I remind myself of that, often.

    If I allow myself to wallow in self-pity, hopelessness, grumpiness, negativity, and the like, what good does that do me?

    More importantly, what good does it do for my family?

    In this life, I have two things that I feel I can have complete control over.

    Just two.

    • My faith.
    • My attitude.

    That’s it.

    During my life I have been through some difficult experiences, pain, ridicule, abuse, brokenness, rape (I’m humbling myself and sharing some of this for the first time), difficult years in our marriage, 2 miscarriages, and an episode that put me in the hospital for 4 days a few years ago in which the dr’s thought possibly a stroke, brain aneurysm or otherwise. We still don’t know what it was (it wasn’t any of the above, the neurologist says it was just a ‘funny’ migraine), but I’m still here, with my husband and my children. There was a lot of fear to fight through that one. That time, it wasn’t just about me, it was about dependents I could be leaving behind. It was about their possible pain, IF, the worst DID occur. For me, that was a whole other ball game from any pain before that involved just me.

    I’ve come through these experiences, yet, how I live NOW is not defined by these.

    I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.

                                             Nikos Kazantzakis

    WHO I am NOW has been shaped through those difficult times, but those times have not created me.

    Who I am is, a happy wife of almost 21 years, a very blessed mother to five wonderful children, a survivor, and proud of it, a successful business woman, and a woman with faith, even if it does feel very small at times

    Why do I share openly, candidly, here on my blog?

    I admit, sometimes I wonder.
    It can be unnerving, and very humbling, but I share so that maybe…

    …other’s might feel more free to share as well, or at least feel less alone in their daily struggles.

    “What life have you if you have not life together? There is no life that is not in community.”

    —T. S. Eliot

    Those of you who read here, are MY community. My community here is full of some family, some friends, MANY women who I’ve emailed with over the years, through business and other, and even some strangers. –I prefer to think of them as friends I simply haven’t had the chance to meet yet.

    At first when I began writing regularly I felt a little disappointed that because of my business, the fact that I sew women’s pads, this blog may never become what I hoped it could be, a place for others to connect to our family, and maybe even to one another.

    I realized that because of the intimate nature of the main products I create, some would never see this blog as more then a place for just ‘some’ women, but not a place for everyone.

    But then I realized just the other day that maybe that’s not something I should fight?

    Maybe instead of being disappointed about this I should embrace that reality, and be willing to share even MORE openly, about my life as a woman. To share without shame.

    Because, sadly, my life story is not unusual. My past is not unique.

    From the time I was much younger, I always felt that if ANY good could ever come from what I had been through, it would be worth it. If MY story would help ease the pain for even just ONE other woman/girl, then my pain had been worth it. It then has a purpose. It is no longer senseless.

    And so I share my life.

    Love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been dissapointed.
    To those who still beleive, even though they’ve been betrayed.
    To those who still love even though they’ve been hurt before.